You see, I am a person who loves the family unit and being torn from my parents and siblings at such a young age left me devastated. I was traumatised by the separation and pined for the day to be re-united with them, which unfortunately never came. After eight years at the convent, I was transferred to another Catholic institution (Boys Town) and lived here for another four years. All these while I considered myself a Catholic but practising it never gave me peace or refuge from the misery of separation. One day I went into a small private prayer room which had nothing but a statue of Mary in it. Once alone inside, I locked the door, knelt down and poured my heart out to her. The years of separation from my family and the regimented lifestyle of living in an institutional home got to me. I was overcome with grief and had a meltdown. I knelt there with my head bowed and just cried my heart out to Mary. When I had finished, I looked up to her expecting some kind of response to my desperate plea for help to deal with my miserable, senseless situation. But what I got in return was simply a stoned, silenced stare! It was the same look that I got BEFORE I started praying to her. It then suddenly hit home that I HAD BEEN TALKING TO A FIGURE MADE OF STONE. Yes, the statues had been in the grounds of the home for years but it took an encounter like this to bring home the reality of it . I didnt have to consult any priests or 'brothers' to make sense of what just happened. No need to - It had ears, but could not hear, eyes but could not see! I was crying to a STONE SCULPTURE! That experience devastated me and I felt worse than I worse before i entered that prayer room and NEVER prayed to statues again - EVER!
After my devastating experience with the statue, I turned my attention to other religions and beyond - to religions that were established even before Christianity. Did they have an answer to life's existence? When it was time for me to leave the catholic home of Boys Town as a teenager in 1974, I was already into cigarettes, alcohol and substance abuse. My Dad re-married and had a life and family of his own where there was no place for me, although there were brief periods where he allowed me to stay with him. But soon I was on my own, a drifter, a rolling stone. Two years later, I was called up for military service. After completion in 1978, I joined the merchant fleet and sailed around the world, working in the engine room. Wherever I went or whatever I did, the search for life's answers never left me. Meanwhile, my addiction to substance and alcohol abuse got worse. It was a wonder how I survived all those years living an immoral 'cowboy' life in the fast lane. Back in Singapore, in 1987 when the cops were on my heels for drug abuse, I reluctantly took shelter in a Christian halfway home. Reluctant because I associated Protestant Christianity with Catholicism - and wanted NOTHING to do with it especially after my encounter with the statue. However, my back was against the wall. I was penniless, homeless, sick from drugs and worse of all, was wanted by the law. I had to find a refuge. Hiding in the Christian halfway seemed a perfect solution, but what happened there changed me forever.
After I recuperated from substance abuse at the halfway home, I wanted to leave immediately because I disliked Christianity. However, the pastor talked me into staying and challenged me to find out whether the God of the Bible was real or not. I took up the challenge and started reading the Bible to find fault with it, but instead, I found the Truth. In September 1987, I was Born Again, and my life took a turn that I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams. My curiosity about life since I was young ended when the Spirit of Yahweh God came into me and removed the scales from my eyes. I had tried to find the true 'God' in so many other religions, cults, beliefs, ideologies. Some of them were portrayed as noble but in the end, it was Yahweh, through His Son Yeshua (Jesus) and not a statue or an image that gave me new life. My search for the meaning in life came to an end. Now, I not only had a permanent place to stay in, but also a permanent God who loved me. The moment I was born again in 1987 is still vivid in my mind when I proclaimed 3 times with joy, "I FOUND IT!"
New Life
Now that I was sober and had a roof over my head (the halfway home), I found a job with a publishing company selling advertising space for magazines. On hindsight it was really Yahweh God who opened this door for me. After several years, I started my own publishing company producing food-related publications. In 2004, I married a wonderful young lady, Ms Weng Yang. She is truly Yahweh God's gift to me. We have one son, who is the apple of my eye. Marriage was difficult for me though. My traumatic years of being a rejected child coupled with hardcore substance abuse had fashioned me into a person incapable of having relationships. I was a misfit, a social outcast, a hurt and very angry person. The first couple of years were terrible for my wife to say the least, and I am deeply indebted to her for not leaving me.
I look back at those years with utter embarrassment of how I treated her. My God Yahweh also did not desert me - on the contrary, it is because of His gift of discernment to understand His Word that transformed my life and especially my attitude towards my wife. She is now my best friend, helper, colleague and my soulmate and I can say with certainty that the Lord has provided me a perfect person to raise a family with, to partner in my work, and also to spread the message of the Good News. Dear reader, the God that I met in 1987 is the creator of heaven & earth. Mighty yet unbelievably loving. There is no way to convince you of this except to experience it for yourself. The Bible calls this supernatural spiritual encounter 'born again'. If you are searching for the meaning in life, there is hope because God is real. There is some information on this site which provides evidence for the existence of a creator God. Please take time to ponder over them and if you need to talk to someone, I am always ready to listen. Please do not hesitate to contact me HERE . I would love to talk to you.
Shalom & thank you for visiting.
Joseph Lefort
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